Graciously falling to pieces again and again my bruises are neglecting me the animals are provoked what eye saw like it was yesterday everything went by just like that a moment in an hour frozen like black blood dead in motion [children] everywhere the loneliness of 4 am the silence of self-inflicted violence the TV bleeds its suicide anthem the fan whispers its defiance of the warm graveyard night this bed is wet w/ dreams, and soaked in mortal fluid - - sleep is for amateurs eye have to remove myself from this population of willing slaves - - eye must find my way back to the gods burnt offerings pagodas and mystery cults endangered saviors disappearing in the remote countryside threatening the Great Society like a ghost messiah whispering lies in the night, blankets and filth. the smell of the fire. Silver flowers burning sleep from the sky. Softly coming closer writing helps me cope its the funnel for me darkness it defies the tyranny of terrible gravity it gives me reason to fight the loneliness :me: forever alone trying to connect thru wurds to that distant island in the vacant sea writing is my redeemer my assassin, my willing slave and master, it is the only god eye have ever known eye am hypnotized by this new eye of violence - - in awe of its strength and simplicity eye can sit for an entire day [playing to observer] and eye will feel no horror eye will not think of regret - - eye am numb but aware - - eye can remain unafraid in its warm coma until my bones ache and scream for motion - - and even then, eye am unmoved but the one fortifier the only nourishment is that tiny tickle of taste - - in the mouth of your soul - - the wicked fruit of revenge. in the privacy of their rooms in the bedroom of their heads they need to escape they need to connect their madness w/ some new friend, a stranger who knows nothing, but understands everything eye see myself as the tragic hero embraced by the world rejected at home in the battle with the forces of despair

"a river of plagues"

here & now eye make my demands .. eye want chaos & disorder .. mass destruction .. famine and plague .. eye want victims & enemies .. eye want to taste their suffering to eat their rage .. whut eye want - - - is complete & total horror .. eye want to taste the sodium tears of suffering children, weeping uncontrollably .. eye want to feel their sorrow soaking into my bones - - - eye want to slide my fingers inside the wet caverns of their fear .. eye want to suckle the bubbling milk of madness from the swollen breasts of the GREAT FANGED MOTHER .. eye want to sea with the eyes of panic .. to smell the inevitability of death .. to laugh at their pain hysterically to know nothing of regret or remorse to spread my sweet disease .. in this empire of filth .. to live the end of days .. to be its voice .. to be the one responsible for finally putting a stop .. to all .. of this.